The 42-Year Change: Coming Into Yourself

Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf Education in the early 1900s, was not only a pioneer in child development but also deeply attentive to the lifelong cycles of of human life. He described seven-year phases of growth, each marked by its own distinct developmental milestones.

One of the most profound of these is the 42-year change — the transition that often arrives just before or after age 42.

This phase is often called “midlife crisis” in the mainstream, but through the lens of Vitality Medicine, it is much more: it is the time when we begin to fully come into ourselves.

At 42, we disentangle and establish more deeply in ourselves. For the first time, we may feel a loosening from the webs of responsibility that tied us to parents, children, and spouses. It is the moment of learning to be in relationship with, but not responsible for.

For many of us — especially empaths — this shift is life-changing. Until then, we may unconsciously carry others, trying to make them “okay,” as if their well-being is our responsibility. At 42, something begins to crack open: we are invited to step into sovereignty. To love without carrying. To walk alongside, without holding the weight of another’s path.

This can feel unsettling at first, for ourselves and others in our lives who are used to being prioritized often in front of even our own needs. But it is a time where we can shed a skin that you did not maybe even realize you were carrying, and it can be very liberating. And the thing with these developmental changes it is occurring within us, so we can either work with it, try to be graceful and embody these new changes in integrity, or we can go out and buy a red convertible and leave it all behind.

The 42-year change is not about abandoning others or your life though. It is about discovering the freedom to live from your own center and prioritize yourself and your own needs as you embody a mature adulthood and selfhood. To realize that your life, your vitality, your joy are not dependent on holding everything together for everyone else, but that when you really embody your unique and essential self in a considerate and authentic way, your whole relational network flourishes. The world around you also moves to its next level of wholeness.

It is, at last, the moment to claim: “This is about me — and that’s okay.”